Campaign of the Month: December 2020

House Jasper

Holy Cluster Fuck

We almost died!

By the old gods and the new that was a cluster. Who know that our ship would wash up on the sisters. Getting locked in a jail cell was a miserable experience. This stupid lump of a man named Og threatened to make us pee in our own mouths. Gross! Well whatever, we showed him. When we got an audience with his father who wanted to give us a farce of a trial we said nay and instead demanded Trial By Combat. This Og fellow is so fucked. Darron can kick some ass and is going to carve him like a ham.

Well I was wrong. This fight was not off to a very good start… Darron got one good hit and proceeded to get smashed with a fucking war hammer. This Og is strong. I am guessing Darron is going to die and we are going ot be sentenced to death. Why the hell did I agree to come along with them? I thought "maybe I can convince them to let me off the hook. I am after all just a commoner. Yeah! I was pressed into service, had no choice in the matter… I can convince them of that I bet. It will suck for these guys and Ned, but I'll get out of here." As I was thinking all of that suddenly it was like "WAIT. WTF! DARRON YOU FOOL Don't charge the fucking lord! Goddamn it." I didn't say any of that, but I sure did think it. Looked like it was turning into a fight.  So I turn to the guard and am like "The lords in danger! Give me your sword!" and he did! hahahaha idiot… If only I were good at using a sword.

I also convinced og that his father was in danger. Thank goodness! It kept him from killing Darron. Jardon made a valiant effort on lord, but failed. I hopped into the pit to help Darron, who is still a huge fucker. He danced out of the way and let Og hit me with the war hammer. That really hurt, I didn't even have armor on. Once Jardon was downed the lord jumped in and engaged us in a 2v2 with his son and me and Darron. It was a slog of a fight. Good thing I convinced him we would kill his heir if the fight continued, not sure we would have to be honest. Alls well though. He gave us passage to White Harbor, healing, and our lives. And all we lost was Jardon's eye. That is a price I suppose I am ok with us paying…

White harbor was awesome! I sold that sword I swindled for 500 silver! Maybe this trip isn't so bad. I miss my family and I know I should get back to them, but I already have enough silver to change our lives for the better. Maybe I can stick around a bit longer and get us a on a whole new level. I know our life is good, but I am growing tired of farming.


daniel_burns_jr StevelKnievel