Campaign of the Month: December 2020

House Jasper

Holy Cluster Fuck
We almost died!

By the old gods and the new that was a cluster. Who know that our ship would wash up on the sisters. Getting locked in a jail cell was a miserable experience. This stupid lump of a man named Og threatened to make us pee in our own mouths. Gross! Well whatever, we showed him. When we got an audience with his father who wanted to give us a farce of a trial we said nay and instead demanded Trial By Combat. This Og fellow is so fucked. Darron can kick some ass and is going to carve him like a ham.

Well I was wrong. This fight was not off to a very good start… Darron got one good hit and proceeded to get smashed with a fucking war hammer. This Og is strong. I am guessing Darron is going to die and we are going ot be sentenced to death. Why the hell did I agree to come along with them? I thought "maybe I can convince them to let me off the hook. I am after all just a commoner. Yeah! I was pressed into service, had no choice in the matter… I can convince them of that I bet. It will suck for these guys and Ned, but I'll get out of here." As I was thinking all of that suddenly it was like "WAIT. WTF! DARRON YOU FOOL Don't charge the fucking lord! Goddamn it." I didn't say any of that, but I sure did think it. Looked like it was turning into a fight.  So I turn to the guard and am like "The lords in danger! Give me your sword!" and he did! hahahaha idiot… If only I were good at using a sword.

I also convinced og that his father was in danger. Thank goodness! It kept him from killing Darron. Jardon made a valiant effort on lord, but failed. I hopped into the pit to help Darron, who is still a huge fucker. He danced out of the way and let Og hit me with the war hammer. That really hurt, I didn't even have armor on. Once Jardon was downed the lord jumped in and engaged us in a 2v2 with his son and me and Darron. It was a slog of a fight. Good thing I convinced him we would kill his heir if the fight continued, not sure we would have to be honest. Alls well though. He gave us passage to White Harbor, healing, and our lives. And all we lost was Jardon's eye. That is a price I suppose I am ok with us paying…

White harbor was awesome! I sold that sword I swindled for 500 silver! Maybe this trip isn't so bad. I miss my family and I know I should get back to them, but I already have enough silver to change our lives for the better. Maybe I can stick around a bit longer and get us a on a whole new level. I know our life is good, but I am growing tired of farming.

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10
JUN/2018
Poor giant cat

As soon as I realized both thieves were dead, I sprinted over reflexively to snatch up the money before the fire went out. There, I took a moment to catch my breath. When I gathered my composure, I saw Dolins checking the bodies for anything worth looting. I then offered one silver stag to each of my cohorts. Teddy took his, Dolins asked me to keep one for my treatment of his injuries, and Calaila told me to hold on to hers as she trusted I would use it wisely in future. Which of course, I will!

We then decided to stick together and continue exploring the caves. For some reason, the shadows behind us seemed darker… And we got turned around a bit! We did stumble upon a dead body. It was impossible to tell where this poor soul was from though I did see that it was a shadowcat that felled the person. Dolins, the ever resourceful bard, searched the body but found nothing.

In another cave alcove, we found a bronze shield with runes around the edges. This I took on my back as I had the least to carry, and we continued on exploring. We were making it to the cavern with the fire, when a shadowcat appeared out of the darkness in the entrance! We all froze, unsure of what to do. Teddy whispered to me that we should sneak over and grab a thief to lure the cat away from the only way out. I walked over with him, thinking that this was a brilliant plan. Calaila sprinted after, stating we were too weak to pull the body. We sure showed her! We were so darn strong, we pulled that body right towards the entrance. I then dosed the body with some Milk of the Poppy and we all hid behind a rock wall. The shadowcat paced over to the body, nuzzled it for some reason, then ate and fell promptly asleep. I suggested we kill the cat though Maelys seemed upset by this. He did his duty and beheaded the cat. Both he and Calaila took a moment to grieve this animal that neither of them knew, while the rest of us went to getting set up near the thieves fire.

Here, we spent a week together. During this week, I grew closer to Teddy. I started to see some traits that I had not noticed before. Although he was mischievous and somewhat lazy, there were boyish charms about him that made me lose myself in his eyes… Then I would have to catch myself and remember who I was pretending to be.

After 7 days, I had healed up and Dolins was much improved. The jacket made from the shadowcat was finished and was given to Teddy. I took this moment to move closer to him and smelled his stinky breath. "Teddy, may I use your new shadowcat jacket?" The words were out of my mouth before the filter could stop them. I felt silly in even asking such a handsome, lordly man.

He said no! The hurt I felt was deep after the lovely week we had spent. I moved a bit closer, again forgetting myself in his charm, and asked again. He decided that yes, I could use it but would have to give it back. Oh the joy I felt! I would get to wear the jacket of the most handsome, goofy guy!! My heart was aflutter. I will have to find a way to squash these newfound feelings before they get the better of me. But as they say, the heart wants what the heart wants… I'm sure I'll study up and find a way around it. Maybe the runes on the shield hold some wisdom?

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6
JUN/2018
1 comment
Last commented on:
Jun 07, 2018
My eyes tire from rolling so hard...

Much to my horror, upon the deaths of the cave bandits, Maester Thaddeus immediately ran over put all their gold in his pockets! While he pillaged their pockets, under the guise of "carrying it for our group", the rest of us agreed to split up the rest of the goods, myself taking a common dagger from a bandit. The group discussed that it would be best explore the cave further, and ensure no other attackers lie lurking in other nooks. We first came across a half frozen dead body, to which Maester exclaimed that a shadowcat had eaten the missing half. In another corner, we stumbled upon a bronze shield with maroon markings, which no one could read. When returning to the fire built by the out dead attackers, out of the corner of my eye, I spied a shadowcat lurking near the entrance of the cave. I reminded our group that shadow cats rarely attack living men, and are scavengers, probably seeking the blood of the men we had killed just moments before, and not lookng to attack us.  I suggested we move into another room to allow the shadow cat to feast, but, the group insisted upon trying to kill the shadowcat. Teddy and Thaddeus dragged a dead body out, and Maester Thad spread milk of the poppy across the bodies' wound.  The shadowcat began to eat, and quickly fell asleep, and Dolins and Thaddeus urged Maelys to kill it. His body language read hesitation and confusion, but he followed his orders, and took a knee beside the cat's fallen body. I joined him in taking a knee, and said a few words in gratitude for the shadowcats sacrifice, and couldn't help but notice that a tear rolled down Maelys' cheek. I gently placed a hand on his shoulder, and he seemed to take a small comfort in this gesture. I may not like people very much, but I do not think harmless animals deserve such treatment.

We gathered back around the fire, and Dolins asked Thad to heal his wounds, to which he responded that he would IF Dolins would make the shadowcat's fur into a cloack for Thad. Seven hells! This maester has no tact! I rolled my eyes as Teddy exclaimed to the group that as the heir to the house, the shadowcat's fur would rightfully belong to him. 

Thaddeus healed himself and Dolins most of the way, and after a week, we peeked our heads out of the cave to find that the storm had subsided. The group agreed it was time to carry on our adventure towards Gulltown. Even after the grabbing up the gold, and bargaining healing for craftsmanship, Thaddeus surprised me again by suggesting that Lordling Teddy GIVE HIM HIS SHADOWCAT CLOAK. I reminded myself to keep this embarrassment of a maester at an arms length, and witnessed Thad sidle up towards our heir. Does this maester lay with men?! Teddy compromised, and agreed to let the maester borrow the cloak until they arrive in town, and we prepared to leave the cave…

 

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6
JUN/2018
2 comments
Last commented on:
Jun 07, 2018
I'm pulling my weight, right?
Go team!

As the Lynderly horsemen approached our party, I was unsure if they recognized me as the heir to their rival house. Seeing their numbers and not knowing their motives, I attempted to hand my father's scroll to the knight without announcing my status so he might provide us safe passage. This did not work at all how I hoped. The knight ripped up the scroll without reading it! That message from Lord Jasper could have been useful later on! I felt like a major dyngus for letting that happen. Luckily, Dolins can lay on the charm, and played a round of throwing knives with the knight, who allowed us to pass.

We managed to travel unimpeded to the Mountains of the Moon when we were caught in a serious snow storm. Conditions were unbearable, and our Maester was especially vulnerable to the elements. After 2 hours, I spotted a cave in the side of a nearby cliff and led our party to the entrance. The five of us entered the cave together and Maester Thad, Dolins, and Calaila lit their lanterns. Feeling uneasy about this cave, I left my lantern in my pack and decided I would stick to the shadows away from the lanterns. At the first main intersection, we decided to split up and explore different directions. Calaila and I went to the right, Dolins and Thad went left, and Maelys stayed silently at the intersection.  

We had been apart for only a few minutes when we heard Dolins yell. Calaila and I ran as fast as we could to our friends, but the scene was grim by the time we arrived. Dolins took two wounds and fell behind Maelys for reprieve, and Maester Thad was on the ground. Calaila was crouched at the side of the cave assessing the scene as I ran past. With all the commotion and the flickering light, I successfully snuck around the tussle, behind the two aggressors. I was about to draw my dagger, when Calaila somehow stabbed one of them in the neck! Woah! Where did that come from??? There is more to that handmaid than I originally thought. In quick succession, Dolins threw a knife in the chest of the other and falls him! Boom!! Dead!!

I hope everyone is okay… I was thinking we would wait out the storm in this cave, but now we may not have a choice.

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5
JUN/2018
And I set fiiirrrrre..... to the bandits
This bard is on fiirrrrrree

Across a bridge, the cloud of dust settled to revealed a squad of well armed knights from House Lynderly. Lord John stood at their lead and demanded if we were if House Jasper. As I had already been playing my fiddle to pass the time and miles, I introduced our party with a song. Lord John said we would not be allowed to cross the lands that had once belonged to us. Our Lord Ronnel had given his son a letter that might help in just such a situation. So he approached and offered the letter to Lord John. However, Lord  John refused to even read the letter. Calaila tried to persuade him to read it, but that simply resulted in the letter getting torn up and we were still denied passage. Instead, the Lynderly Lord demanded gold or some form of sport. Seeing as our house and our pockets were not considerably deep with gold, I thought to challenge the Lord to a throwing knife competition. He looked like a well trained soldier and I knew my aim would have to be true to win. I loaned him three of my knives to compete with and we began. Our first knives landed the exact same distance from the marked target. Unfortunately the Lord bested my next throws and won. Surprisingly, he agreed to let us to continue on our journey. He simply asked to keep one of my throwing knives as a trophy of his victory. This seemed a more than fair price and I quickly agreed. Perhaps he will tell a story of how he came to acquire it and my bard name and reputation will spread into the lands of another house. We exchanged pleasantries and our group continued on our journey.

 

After some uneventful days and miles of travel, a spring blizzard caught our group off guard. We struggled to find from the swirling snow and icy cold. Thaddeus suffered the worst from the storm and I feared he might not make it unless we got him shelter soon. Thankfully Teddy’s young, sharp eyes noticed a cave which we quickly ducked into. In the darkness, Calaila and I lit our lanterns. I gave a torch to the almost frozen Maester so that he might have some warmth and a light. We started exploring the caves together as a group. After finding several branching paths within the caves, I feared we might miss something if we didn’t go back and explore the earlier parts of the cave fully before moving on. So Calaila and Teddy went one way while Thaddeus and I went another. Maelys silently remained in the main part of the cave. Around a bend in the cave, the Maester and I saw a feint flickering light. No sooner had we noticed the light, then figures rushed towards us and attacked. I flung my lantern at the feet of the two dark figures and called out to the others for help. The oil from the lantern caught fire and spread to our attackers but unfortunately onto me as well. Thaddeus tried to make them surrender promising aid, but they paid him no mind. I dropped to the ground to put out the flames on myself in a maneuver taught to all Westerosian children called “stop, drop, and roll”. Before I could stand back up, the flaming bandits took advantage of my helplessness and wounded me greatly. The Maester attempted to help me up but in the chaos, ended up falling down himself. He was wounded as well by our attackers. Maelys arrived to our aid first, as he was closest. Then Calaila arrived, followed in the shadows by Teddy. With surprising skill, the handmaiden produced a weapon and dashed toward one foe. She stabbed him in the neck and he died. Angered by the death of his partner, the other bandit attacked Calaila and hurt her. Before the sworn sword could act. I threw a knife at the last bandit striking him down. Since the start of our adventure, all in our party had suffered at least slightly. But we are tough and will continue on to Gulltown. What we will find the bandits had been hoarding? What will the rest of the caverns contain? More attackers? More treasure? Despite the danger, I should like to explore as much as possible before continuing on. Perhaps though, in our weakened states, we should all stay together.

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31
MAY/2018
los bandidos están en llamas
(The bandits are on fire!!!)

Around the bend arrived Lord John of Lynderlys with several men on horses behind him. He called out, asking who we were. Dolins, our trusty bard, sang a lovely mountain song announcing us to them. Teddy then stepped up offering our scroll but he was swiftly denied. Calaila then convinced Lord John to read the scroll. She approached and handed the scroll to him wherein he ripped up the message before reading. He stated he either wanted money or sport to allow our passage and Dolins offered up a throwing challenge against himself. He lost heartily to Lord John but as he was a good sport and good company, Lord John allowed us passage for the price of the throwing knife.

One week later, we were in an unseasonably cold storm. We were searching for shelter but we took so long I was injured twice in the frigid cold! I will have to remember to get more clothes for the cold when we get to a market. My weakly body cannot handle such torment!

Teddy, our fearless leader, spotted a cave and we made our way there. Dolins and Calaila lit their lanterns and Dolins handed me a torch. We started exploring the cave and made our way deep into the darkness. At one point, my good friend Dolins and I split off to explore one path we had neglected towards the entrance. We make our way around a corner and see two men dressed in black with a small fire and the glitter of coins on the ground!

The men quickly rush us! My new friend took his lantern, swung it around in a circle and smacked both bandits with it, setting them alight. I attempted to stab them in the face with my lit torch, but I missed. I offered to help them by putting out the fire if they surrendered but they both ignored me and trained their sights on Dolins.

Both Dolins and I were injured by the flaming bandits (which is a great name for a band Dolins, we should create one when we get back to the castle). We yelled out for help and Maelys promptly arrived. He was hit and hurt a little. Dolins drew his stiletto and also noticed he was on fire, so he swiftly stopped, dropped and rolled. I had learned of this technique at the Citadel. I attempted to help my dearest, dear friend Dolins to his feet, but in my clumsy attempt, tripped on my long robes and fell on the ground beside him. 

Dolins was injured a bit more by the singed, flaming bandits. I remembered I had my dagger and I quickly pulled this from my robes. I rolled over to the closest of the burning bandits and attempted to stab him in the leg but my sweaty hands made the knife hilt slippery and the knife flew from my hands into the dirt a few feet away.

By this point, Calaila had made her way over and I saw her draw two weapons and charge towards the further bandit. She then bravely stabbed him in the neck which immediately downed the man and he started burning more. I could tell from my learnings that he was dead.

I saw Teddy appear near me, he must have snuck up in all the commotion and he stood on the far side of the battle near where I was on the ground. Dolins then grabbed one of his remaining 19 knives and threw this past Calaila and this landed in the chest of the other bandit. 

I believe this all would make a great aria set to a strong drum backbeat, possibly with a harp solo? Just a thought I need to share with my lunch buddy Dolins… 

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30
MAY/2018
Deadly Spelunking

Upon our travels, we met House Linderlys on a mountain pass, and Dolins presented our group to the house with a spirited song. Unimpressed, the man we would come to learn is John Linderlys clapped slowly, and admonished us for not introducing ourselves to the house before trying to cross his lands. Disgusted with our house heir's lack of diplomacy, it was ultimately I offered him the letter we were given, which was promptly torn up. John stated he was not interested in the letters of men who do not rule over his lands, and was far more likely to be persuaded to let us pass if we could offer him gold or sport. Dolins bravely challenged him to knife throwing fight, but lost and offered his dagger as an award to John. Lord Linderlys accepted, and allowed us to carry on our way.

In a terrible storm on our way to Gulltown, we struggled to find shelter, and the maester suffered greatly in the cold. Finally, Teddy put himself to use and found a cave. As we started exploring the cave, we split up, Teddy and I to the east, and Dolins and Thad to the west. As I peeked around the next corner in the cave with my lantern, I heard Dolins yell for help, and sprint towards his voice. As I approach, with Teddy trailing close behind me, I slow down to set down my lamp and see Dolins on the ground, suffering from wounds and very weak. Charging forward, I stab one of the attackers in the neck with all my might (and using two destiny points), and he crumples at my feet, still on fire. The other turned on his heel and hit me (3 points damage). Thankfully, Dolins stepped in and finished the job, with our attacker yielding. 

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30
MAY/2018
On the road again
The life I love is makin' music with my friends

After defeating our foe, he knelt wounded before me and Teddy (oddly silent and motionless for a while). Before leaving the banks of the river, I glanced out to the boat by which the mysterious stranger had arrived. It appeared unoccupied and I had a sneaking suspicion that it might hold more clues. However, the night was cold and dark and the waters were not calm. I didn't feel confident that Teddy could rescue me should I need assistance. So I let discretion be the better part of valor and thought it wise to simply return to Castle Snownook with Teddy and our prisoner.

 

Upon our return, we met with Thaddeus and Calaila waited for Lord Ronnel to dispense his wisdom and judgement. To fill in my companions on what had transpired… I broke out my fiddle and improvised a ballad of our battle. As we waited for our lord, we began to interrogate the captive stranger. At first we learned his name and is Roderick and that he claimed to be a fisherman that only taught us because we had a attacked him first. Things didn’t seem to add up so Calaila used her charm on this young man and he revealed his role in this mystery. Roderick said that in exchange for money, he couried the messages from left at the rock by the river (which we knew to be written by Jayne) to a rider in Gulltown. The talented Maester easily diagnosed and healed Teddy’s injury and Roderick’s wounds. Lord Ronnel arrived and agreed that our next course of action should be to take a sworn sword with us to follow the clues to Gulltown. Having sparred with both Perrin and Maelys, I recommend we take the latter with us for his knack of sensing danger. Lord Ronnel dismissed me to bring our prisoner to an abandoned store room to recover from his wounds. After this, I was quite hungry so I went to the dinning room to eat breakfast with Thad and Calaila.

 

After the fight with Roderick, I could feel my body limbering up. It seemed like my old bones were returning to the agility that I had in my younger years.  With a new pep in my step, I packed my belongings into my wagon and hitched my horse to hit the dusty trail with my companions. After a few uneventful days of travel, we heard the thunderous sound of horses around a bend in the road. We could feel the earth tremble as they came closer…

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29
MAY/2018
Heading Out

Dolins, Teddy, Maester Thaddeus and I met in the great hall upon their return from their successful mission with a young man we would soon find out is named Roderick. In a time of deep uncertainty and unrest, Dolins upbeat song recalling the events of Roderick's capture was a bright spot that seemed to ease all our worries.

Lord Ronnel no where to be found, I began building rapport with Roderick after his pitiful lying about being a mere fisherman. Who does he think we are?! I tried to make him feel safe by telling him of Jayne's safety, and ultimately, he relented by sharing that he in fact picks up messages by boat, and brings them to a contact in Gulltown for gold. 

Teddy expressed that it was time to get on the road to Gulltown, and I could see he's been itching to get out of these castle walls. He is like an untrained puppy that needs room to run, that one. I am certain his lack of restraint and tact will one day be his downfall. My concerns about hitting the road and running into people from my past are at the forefront of my mind, but Dolins and Thaddeus seem gung-ho, and raising my worries would almost certainly raise suspicions.

The maester put himself to work by healing the three of them, and Ronnel shared that he was supportive of our plans. As Thaddeus and Dolins and I exit the kitchen, Teddy stays behind to speak with his father, and interrupts our breakfast suddenly to run to the kitchen. I subtly tried to ask Teddy if all was well, but he snapped back, and reminded me I was talking out of line. I need to be smarter about my curiosity next time…but something is definitely going on in this house. Maybe it's not a bad thing that we're hitting the road.

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29
MAY/2018
Unraveling the spider's web

Dolins and Teddy arrived back at the castle very early in the morning. Calaila and I were awoken and met them in the great hall, where they had an odd, rather injured black clad character with them. I asked the two of them what had transpired and Dolins broke into an excellent song recapping the night of adventure to a great backbeat.

Then we met Roderick, at least that is what he told us his name was. He told us he was a fisherman but Calaila saw through that ruse and charmed him into telling us the truth. He stated that he is a transient fellow with affiliation to no one but those who pay him coin. He stated in his current tasks, he brings the messages Jayne leaves to a rider in Galtown(?). (This wise maester was unsure of how to spell this town)

I went to work diagnosing and healing both Roderick and Teddy. After this, the Lord arrived in the room and we told him of our plans, which he thought was a good course of action. He told us to all go have breakfast but asked Teddy to stay behind. We sat down at a few tables, Dolins keeping me company. Teddy did come back and joined us but after being served, he strangely got up to go get a drink from the kitchen. The rest of us declined his offer of beer as it was 6 in the morning. I am worried he is becoming a lush… I will have to keep watch of that.

After we had eaten, Teddy and I went back to talk to the lord about our newly hatched plan to go to the location where Roderick would meet the rider. The lord suggested we take a sworn sword with us but preferred we took our choice of Maelys or Perin. I had heard of a mute knight with a mysterious background in my studies which I assume could only be Maelys. Perin, I knew that he was from a poor but proud house on Pebble, a small isle near the fingers. Calaila had also told us that Perin had debts back in Galtown, so we all decided we thought the best choice would be Maelys.

We took the rest of the day to pack our belongings and get ready for our trek. I made sure Jayne was comfortable with the ravenry and packed all my belongings on my palfrey, Patches. In the morning, the lord took leave of us and we headed off!

It took us a few days, but we finally made it to our old lands that we had lost in the past. We were taking our time, riding along the beaten path, Dolins singing to us songs of our house history, when we heard horses coming towards us around the bend…

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23
MAY/2018