Campaign of the Month: December 2020

House Jasper

Pony rich, gold dragon poor.

After about a month, while walking near the God's Eye, we're stopped by an old lonely woman who reported to us frantically that her 12 horses escaped and asked us for help in getting them back. BINGO! We agree to help her wrangle her horses back into her barn, and spend nearly the whole day doing it. Though exhausting work, I keep my eye on the prize all day long-that I will get a horse out of this, and get off my weary feet. Teddy and I exchange looks for a moment after mounting the first horses we catch, and I can see that we have the same thought; perhaps we bail on the rest of the job, take these rides and escape? I decide not to, as we have the ever honorable Dolins with us, who will likely stay behind and finish the job alone regardless of whether we're there to help or not.

At the end of the day, the old woman agrees easily to allowing us to each keep a horse. I hold onto the pony, and Teddy rides away on a mule, the Maester on the stot, and lucky Dolins on a handsome Palfrey, which he names after his wife.

Two weeks later, in the woods, we come across 6 men in the garb of House Arryn. They report their on an observation mission from Lord Arryn, but we immediately see right through this story. These men are on no mission. After some prodding, they admit that they are deserters,  Without armor or heavy weaponry, we exchange whispers, and persuade the men to head north for the wall, notifying them that we will be notifying House Arryn of their whereabouts and crimes. They turn out their pockets and agree to join the Night's Watch.

Escape From King's Landing
who has two thumbs and can't come up with any more relevant song lyrics? this guy.

Using Teddy's dragon seal, we forge a note saying that, on orders of the king, we must be let out of the city to carry out an important mission, and approach the Iron Gate with baited breath. Holding my head up high, doing my very best to conceal my concerns, I hand the closest guard our fraudulent letter. When he reports that he cannot read, the captain, who allowed us into the city the first time, exits his station and approaches us.

"It's a pleasure to see you again, sir," I greet him, handing him our letter, "On orders of the King". The captain takes the letter, turns it over in his hands, reads it thoughtfully. Every second feels like a long winter. Ultimately, however, the Captain follows the instructions, burning the letter to destroy the evidence, and allows us to pass through the gates. As we step outside King's Landing, it is all I can do to hold back tears of joy and relief.

After some time, we cross paths with Dolins and Thad, and hatch a plan to head north, looking for horses along the way, with the added security of a pre-forged letter with the stamp of "the king" in case we come across any loyalists. I never thought I would ever be able to call a place home, however, I can't help but notice the feeling of warmth in my belly at the idea of returning to Castle Snownook.

Finally a Break
Home Sweet Home

Well I didn't officially win the melee, but I was certainly going to! Unfortunately for me Perrin went down to an ankle-hack, which mathematically made Ser Darron the winner of the over all contest. Upon hearing this, Lord Ronnell called a halt to the Proceedings. It is well in the end, I looked quite accomplished in the melee, and I didn't get saddled with a new thankless job. cough Ser Darron cough

And that brings me to now; a well deserved rest. Jardon and Ser Darron are laid up healing from injuries and wounds, Chumps. I didn't take but a few scratches! So while they are stuck at castle snownook it is just me at the farm with my family. I may be a bit bold calling it a "rest" however. Being off at war, serving our house, and taking care of vital missions for our lord has lead to me being gone for months. My farm is a mess! Luckily chopping wood, and shearing sheep, and building fences is a lot safer than war, and I am getting some quality time with Olira – if ya catch my drift.

I am also having some magical times with the kids. Every night we build a fire outside our cottage, and stay up telling stories. I tell them of our battles fought and won, the trials and tribulations, and of my great heists. They tell me tales of whimsy and sorrow. Invented worlds they escape to and achieve things greater than we ever have. They always include Deston. My heart breaks every time I hear their sweet voices bring him back to life on the back of dragons or sailing the seas. It is hard to believe he has been gone as long as he has, yet it feels like it was just yesterday… 

A lucky escape
Darn it Dolins!!!!

I say to the guard that my hierling Dolins is known to try and short change people and I apologize for his "error". I state I was very distracted thinking about our upcoming work! Donald, the main guard, takes the money and stands there. He argues with me that he cannot believe us that we get to leave. I retort that the king would not like to hear that Donald of the Dragon Gate Guard took his money without letting us through! He nods at this and lets us pass. I book it through the door while Dolins takes his sweet time. As I am outside, and he is to the threshold, we hear a man yelling at us to stop. I turn and see the man at the top of the gate. 4 guards close in on Dolins. I call to the guard and ask him his name. He states he is Ser Larys. I tell him our story and that we need to go. After some back and forth, we are allowed to pass. Whew! We narrowly escaped that one. But I must have a discussion with Dolins about his slow pace and overly accomidating nature….

As we walk north, we meet up with Teddy and Calaila. I am rather annoyed with them for ditching this, and I do not hide it well. I then turn to Dolins and insist he take 4 of my gold dragons. He refuses! What is with him! He keeps arguing with me and I finally relent. I then carry on pouting for a while… As any female maester must at times.

We discuss we are planning to head up towards the trident through the country. Calaila and Teddy have forged a letter to clear us for passage should we run into the same error at the gate again. We move north to look for horses to speed us up on our way!

Viktor Chose Death.
Poor Tito

For those I respect most, I will always trust the hard choices they make. Viktor chose death. He did not mention it to anyone but me, but the melee was to be his last fight. I wasn't 100% sure he was serious, but I could understand with the Joyful Few massacred why he would feel he had nothing to live for. His men were his family, and without them he was lost. 

The melee was a fight to surrender, and with the onus being on Viktor to declare defeat, he never was going to give. That said, I cannot believe Maelys would do what he did. Aiming for a man's neck in a friendly fight is uncalled for. No one should have been attempting to kill their opponents in melee. This is also partially on him. He is the one who took Viktor's head off, and he bears some responsibility for his death.

Too many failures.....
...but I still have an eye and my crossbow...

I narrowly lost my life to those fools during the duel, Wyman and Willas. I had to convince the lord of the house to stop this insanity. Pleading for my life. PLEADING FOR MY LIFE!!!! How embarrassing….

Luckily, Lord Ronnal saw the logic in it, after having lost so many as a result of the ongoing war. He stopped the duel and saw to it that the Waters twins were paid some of my hard earned money as retribution. For some reason, I still have to pay for something that is not my fault. Even though I have no quarrel with the Water's twins, the next time they try to engage me, one of them is losing an eye. 

Aside from this, there is a little hope, apparently in my absence a competition to win the Master at Arms Position has arisen. A house contest to see who can score the most points. The Hunt, a grand melee, a joust, and a couple of marksmanship events in order to see who is the most gifted in all of the best qualities of the master at arms. Finally a chance to show my true skills of why Ronnal chose me in the first place. Unfortunately with me being away,  for what I am now calling "personal" reasons, I was behind as Carsen and Darron already bagged some points on the hunt. 

The axe/knife throw and archery competition were a piece of cake. It was nice to see Samwell look like a grumbling idiot at something for once. I easily swept both of these competitions. No surprise there. 

Although, the joust was a different story. Unfortunately, my limited expertise on a horse got me to the second round of the joust, but Darron is clearly the most skilled in this endeavor. I may have something to learn from this old drunk yet….

I write this journal a bit quickly as I am bit pressed for time to sleep and rest before the fight tomorrow, and I need as much rest as I can get especially if I am to defeat any of these knights of the house. Unfortunately, I will get no such rest as there's a knock at my door……



Down Little Doggy
Viiiiiiictoooory!!!! (FYI This is 2 weeks in the past)

He is lucky I covered for him. Silly Jardon getting himself in a fight to death with the Water's twins was dumb (and suicidal with his injuries). I don't blame him for no-showing, I too would choose life. I sold our Lord and the others on a story that he must have been abducted as his honor would not allow for anything else. The way I wove the words together, I almost convinced myself! Damn I'm good! 

Into this awkward void Lord Ronnel made his announcement: "A competition is to be had! A series of 5 events to determine who will be the next Master-of-Arms. The Bargest Hunt, Throwing,  Shooting, a Joust and a Melee. This is a prestigious position and you should all be trying your hardest for the good of yourself and the house. A series of events shall ensure the best man wins. *He looked right at me when he said this. Chance? I think not. He thinks os highly of me, but do I want this job?* Each will have points allotted for first second and third except for the hunt. For the hunt you will be in teams of two and only the victor's will receive points. You must slay the beast that has been harassing our small folk and bring proof back. The first team to do this wins the hunt. The teams are Perrin and Samwell, Tito and Viktor and The Knights; Ser's Carsen and Darron. Begin!" 

Darron and I made great haste to the knuckle, where the beast was said to be. Our craven competitors were afraid to fight the beast at knight and made camp, waiting for daylight. We hunted through the dark and found the creature. It whimpered at the site of our fearsome weapons, horses, and armor. It leapt at Darron, doing it's best impression of a gnat irritating a shadow cat. Darron returned the favor by striking it with his steely claw. I flung an arrow at the beast, deftly shooting around my companion. We made a sport of the hunt, with me changing over my weapons before going in for the kill. There is nothing like getting up close and personal with a feral beast! I swung my axe while seeing red (which may be why i missed my strike), and it startled the beast due to my ferocity. Using this window I pretended to throw my axe, but didn't (to distract it you see) the silly hound fell for it. Darren cleaved it with his sword and the fight was won!

While I enjoy a good competition and I want to look impressive for our lord, I do not want to be Master-of-Arms. I already have become a lord, a knight, and have a castle on the way as it is. It sounds purely like more work and no gain. I may need to throw a future competition if things are going too well… 

Also, Where the hell is Jardon?

A bender of sorts.....
A vision

At fault for Ardin Celtigar's death? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?! Wyman and Willas Waters are completely insane. Of course Samwell, taking advantage of the situation and just wanting to see me die, plays right into it. Yeah, they lost their father, an enemy of the Vale and to House Jasper, but I was busy trying to take down Jonothor Derry, I was no where near the fighting. I am not at my best and should not be fighting, but these two twerps need to be put out of their misery. I decide to fight the two of them. 

That night, I rest as well as I can, tossing and turning, and perhaps it was blood poisoning, or some type of sorcery, but I started to have a vision. I was an Eagle, and was clawing out the the eyes of a bear, a wound that killed the bear.

I woke up to pains in my side, when it subsided I lightly went back to sleep. I was then again in the body of an eagle but this time taking out the eyes of a septon. It was unclear whether this was actually wounding the priest, but I woke up before I could make sense of the situation in the dream. 

I tried to make sense of it all, but sadly could not. And what else do you do when you need to ponder a mysterious vision. In the famous words of Ser Darron, "Let's get a drink". Unfortunately, this was only said to myself such as it was……

I get up, gather my things, and my horse and head to the small fishing village where I grew up, Jasport (a not so witty name for where our battleships are kept). 

The next couple of days are a bit hazy. I was told by my mother, that I ended up in one of the taverns, The Drowning Man, near where the warships are docked. She was told by some of the towns folk that I started talking to myself at the bar. Some of the tavern regulars heard me talking to myself and decided it was too much and decided to lighten the atmosphere (I would have thought that meant getting me in a better mood, but apparently it meant throwing me out) I was dragged out by some of the townsfolk mumbling about eagles, bears, and even fish. It was all a bunch of banter. I was dropped, literally, in front of my mother's house. Drunk and passed out. 

She said I was out for about a day, she thought I may have been drugged, I'm pretty sure I just had too much to drink, as the headache was unbearable. 

I don't know what came over me, as when I returned to Snownook, I could not see the logic in any of my actions. Perhaps, I was just drowning in my failures and needed some time away to be reborn. 

And I raaaaaan, I ran so far awaaaaaaay
Into a flock of seagulls

Would I say that Dolins is guilty of bribing a Gold Cloak? Privately, yes. Could I develop a line of reason to say ‘No’? Of course. But I’m not interested in slapping horse-faced guards over the head with my ridiculous decrees of innocence while they keep us in a cage through a siege of the city, only to be ruthlessly murdered by the Mad King for impersonating a member of the Alchemist Order. I have higher aspirations.

As the guards move to apprehend Dolins and Thad, Calaila and I both instinctively turn and run. The gate commander sends four of his cloaks to chase us down, but they’ll have a hard time keeping up with all their battle armor!

Calaila immediately breaks for a tiny alley to the right. I followed her toward the alley because I want to stick together. She always has a plan, and she’s familiar with Kings Landing. But the first thing she does is try to squeeze into this tiny space between buildings. That plan wasn’t going to work for my physique, so I broke off and sprinted to find my own escape.

The cloaks in the intersection ahead of me are alerted to the pursuit… namely MY pursuit, since Miss Tiny-Ass crawled into the first hole she could find… Now there are SIX guards chasing me through the streets!

I’m able to lose several of them in the tight alleys, and I’m about to break into the clear when WHAM!!! One of the cloaks knocks me off my feet. I get up and put some space between us, but he throws his spear in my direction and makes contact! Lucky for me, ‘tis but a scratch.

I run back into the main corridor and look around. To my left, I catch a glimpse of Calaila calmly walking across the street and out of sight into another alley. How does she always get away like that? And the two guards who, I presume, let her walk away, see me and start to chase me! GAH!!!

In the open streets, the heavily armored guards are easily out-run. Having seen Calalia moving East, I also head that direction. I find a blockade of barrels and climb over them, safely eluding the guards.

A few more  blocks to the east, the streets open into a large space where Calaila and I find each other, and exchange looks of relief.

Nothing to prove and I'm bulletproof
know what I'm doing....

"ARREST THEM!" Without a second thought, my feet hit the pavement running away from the guards after Teddy and I. I see a small opening and weasel my way in, only to find there is a fat chimney blocking my path to go any further. Seven hells.

When i turn around, two guards are peering into my hiding place, and I move to Plan B:

"Good sirs, why on earth are you chasing me?!" I ask with exasperation.

"Orders, miss." He responds. I explain that as a girl who grew up in Flea Bottom, when I hear the words 'arrest them', it is purely instinct to run, but convinced them that I barely know the others in my party, and that I've been running standard errands for the Alchemists for years, that this just seemed like a typical day in my work, had it not been for the loonies ahead of me. Whatever I said worked, because the "brave soldiers" (HA) not only let me pass, but wished me well on my way.

I scurry across the main road, not wanting to draw attention to myself, but as soon as I am tucked into another alley, out of sight of the guards, I break back into a sprint. Bobbing and weaving through the tight passages between buildings, I don't even bother to look at the townspeople or my surroundings. Escape is the only thing on my mind, and I head in the opposite direction of where Teddy was being chased. I'm making good speed until I'm stopped by a stack of barrels blocking the road. The King truly does not anyone milling about.

Frantically, I reach for edge of the top barrel to climb over, leaping again and again. It is only after a few hapless tries  that I realize panic is clouding the solution in front of me. I reach for a lower ledge, hoist myself upon it, and climb to safety.

It is then that I see Teddy, and we agree it must be our top priority to escape the city. Remembering to our entry at the Iron Gate, we hatch a plan to use the information we learned at the Dragon gate to walk out with the permission of the guards…and the "King".