Campaign of the Month: December 2020

House Jasper

Just act cool
Even when things heat up

Hark!!! Bad guys!!! On the horizon!!!

I gave the lantern signal from the bell tower to say the enemy approaches by land. I then sprinted from the tower toward the Inn, where I could stay near Robert's hiding place across the street. I pass Calaila on the way and tell her soldiers have entered the town and are searching every house. 

I slow down and act cool as I walk into the into the bar. Enemy soldiers are just now making their way into the center of town, and I am able to help myself to an ale while the innskeep is distracted by the footmen entering the establishment. I take a minute to catch my breath and drink up, for there is no telling if this day is my last.

In the square to the north, a knight is holding ground as his soldiers search the nearby houses. I notice that Shaymus is being held in a cage not far from the square. I approach the knight with my best attempt at a commoner "Robert was here, but he headed down the river several days ago. I believe you have missed him!" No luck. He didn't buy it. How can I get these soldiers out of here before they find Robert?

I make my way toward the carriage where Shaymus is held. As I near, the guards shoo me away before I can exchange words with him. This situation is becoming dire. Every second that goes by, Robert's discovery edges closer to inevitable…

Wait. I can slow the soldiers down! I duck into the nearest house right next to the square. Not even looking around the room, I quickly light my lantern and smash it on the floor under some curtains. I make my exit, still acting cool, of course. The war for our kingdom is one of sacrifice, I hope the residents of that house are prepared to make one.

Minutes go by, then it becomes apparent from everywhere in town that a fire is raging in the square!!! Soldiers abandon their search and rush to put out the contemptuous conflagration! I seize the moment to break Shaymus out of his cage. We roll into a nearby house and stay hidden. Before long, the sounds of a large battle sweep over the town. I run outside toward the nearest gate in the wall to see what I was hearing. What a sight! Targaryen forces are losing ground to an army colored with the flags of Stark, Tully, Arryn, and more! 

It has been over an hour since I've seen any members of House Jasper. I hope everyone made it through this siege! If the gods are good, perhaps King Robert even managed to stay hidden!  

'Cause we got the fire, fire, fire
I done fucked up

I am in the house with Robert. We see Teddy's sign that the armies are headed in by land. I hurry to bury Robert in the storeroom and cover him with furs, flour, brooms and the like. I then decide to sit at the table and read my newly stolen book. Maelys joins me. He is such a great listener.

I hear some rumblings on the street about marshall law and how they will keep searching until they get Robert, and it sounds like someone has Shaymus? I get up and walk out and towards the nearest home to the east. I see some soldiers headed my way but have decided to act as if I am doing rounds. I put my book in my pocket and enter the house. There is a startled shriek that calls out and I see two kids, about 8 and 10 years of age. I whisper to them that I am there to check on their mother and ask if she is ok. I give them a pleading look. They point towards a bed in the corner where I do see an obviously ill frame lying in bed. I start to tend to the poor woman who is feverish. I then hear soldiers behind me and a guard calls out saying their commander needs aid and to come help them. I shout back that I need to tend to the villager and will then head over to him once I am done. I ask where he is but get no response.

I see out of the corner of my eye a knight clad in white. He states that he needs to speak to me and his name is Ser Dennys. I state I need to tend to the woman and he states he will stay there and chat while I work. He asks if I have seen or treated someone of Robert's description. I stated that I saw someone matching that description 3/4 day's ride to the east but that I treated him and he headed on back east. I mix up tea for the villager and hear the soldiers leaving and heading to the west. I start to smell smoke…. and as I leave the house i see a house on fire!! I start to walk towards the house. As I pass the house with Maelys, I call in to him and tell him to come out and watch. I immediately regret this… I had forgotten he was dressed up in so much armor!! The guards yell at me to watch up and I take one step back….

Maelys is in instant combat and I see he is bleeding a bit. I back up a bit further. This is not going well! Calaila has thrown herself in the middle of the group pleading for them to stop. All of a sudden, Robert bursts out of the house and starts smashing away with his legendary War Hammer!! It is such a sight to see. In addition to this clatter, I hear a battle happening outside the walls! I then hear clattering and see our allies coming in through the gates and the targereans scatter! I run over to Maelys and apologize and start showing my apology the only way I know how, by tending to his wounds.

The gods are great, Beer is good and Aerys is crazy.

One light shines from the belltower, telling us that the Targaryean army has arrived to the Stony Sept by land. With Robert hiding in the storeroom of the house, I park myself outside, prepared to deter any soldiers. Teddy passed by and in a hushed tone notifies me that soldiers are searching the area, to which I responded, "Searching for what?" with a wink, and prepared for the invasion.

I gather a few items and a basket, and stage a damsel-in-spilled-distress scene outside the house Robert is hiding in, when I hear the Head Guard yell that the town is under Martial Law, and Shaymus has been appreh​​​​​​​ended until Lord Baratheon is turned over. Seven hells, why must everything be so complicated? I decide to stick to my plan-it takes a lot of effort to care for others…

"Good day, sirs!" I cheerily chirp to some approaching soldiers, to which I get a disappointing grunt. Ugh, this is going to be harder than I thought. "In the commotion of the day, it seems I've found myself quite clumsy," I say with my warmest grin, "would you mind helping me gather my things and join me for an ale?" A few of the soldiers readily begin to pick up my basket items with me while making small talk, and we head to the inn for a drink.

"IF ROBERT IS NOT PRESENTED IN ONE MINUTE, SHAYMUS WILL BE EXECUTED!" I hear from the Inn with my new friends. "Why all this commotion for one man? It seems like a lot of trouble," I ask my pals. They chuckle to each other and share what I already know, that Robert is the head of the Rebellion against the Mad King. "Wouldn't calling our king mad be treasonous?" I inquire, hoping to distract them with their own hypocrisy, but they have little interest in my philosophical questions, or my suggestion to invite their friends slinking outside Robert's house in to join us. As we clink our drinks together, flames flicker outside the Inn window, and commotion breaks out across the street. To my one side, my drinking buddies are sprinting towards the fire, and to my other, Maelys and the Maester are surrounded by a dozen soldiers with their weapons drawn. I run upstairs to the Peach, and throw my legs over the windowsill, take a deep breath, and lower myself out to where I am hanging on to the sill by my fingertips, as though I had fallen out while looking on to the chaos. 

"HELP! HELP!" I scream perilously, hoping to milk my damsel look for all it's worth. A few gratefully distracted soldiers help me down safely, but Maelys is far outnumbered as he is attacked. Inserting myself into the mix, I frantically try to turn the attention away from my comrade, but with no success. At my most helpless moment, a handsome Robert Baratheon bursts through the door of his hiding house swinging his sword, and his allies, the Starks flood the streets of the Stony Sept.

Chillin Like Villains
Healing and mealing

After finding Robert on the side of the road, we knew we must take him with us to Stony Sept, where Maester Thad could begin to properly heal him.

Once we arrived, it was clear that Robert would need to rest for an extended period before he would be able to move. Our band's service to the rebellion is most important in this moment, so I bought everyone their meals for the time we spent healing Robert. I'm such a nice guy! While spending time around town, I come to learn that the town is supportive of Robert's rebellion, and most would be willing to hide Robert in their own homes if they were asked. 

After a week or two, we received word that Targaryen forces were headed towards the town to search for Robert. In the days that follow, we decide to hide Robert in a house right across from the inn, thinking that the maidens could be used to distract any soldiers that got too close to Robert's hiding spot. Calaila, Thad, and Maelys would stay in the house with Robert, Dolins would stake out the inn, and I would keep watch in the bell tower.

The forces finally arrived! SO MANY BAD GUYS! THOUSANDS! The bells in the tower began to ring, and I gave the signal that enemy forces were arriving by land! One lantern!

Hide and seek
The soldiers are coming.....

Now how to get this Lord to Stoney Sept… Dolins attempts to create a litter but Calaila needs to help him out by arranging this. I offer Robert milk of the poppy and we head off to the Sept! We call out to the men on the wall and announce we have Robert Barathean and to let us in. The gates are opened and we see a red headed larger man who introduces himself as Shamus. He is the steward of Stoney Sept and bring us into the town and down to the old Maester's quarters. I head into the building and find the most comfortable bed. Teddy and Dolins help me lay Robert down into that bed.

A week goes by of me treating Robert. Then, while sitting down with our group, Shamus bursts in and states a runner arrived and that the Targareans realized Robert is not with his army! They may be headed our way! I state that we should not move him as he has improved so much but he still has a long way to go. His ankle improved a good bit this week but is still tender. His other wounds need more time. Calaila and Teddy have heard around town that the town would want to hide Robert away within the town's limits.

After much deliberation, it was decided that Robert and I would hide in a house near the brothel so that the ladies of the night could assist in distracting if any soldiers seemed intent on entering the house. We could also see the bell tower from here and be alerted by which way the soldiers may be coming. Another week goe sby and Robert has greatly improved! His finger and arm have healed. The only injuries left are the two stomach wounds.

All of a sudden, the bells in the bell tower are ringing! The soldiers are here and are coming by land!!

Riddle me this...
... riddle me that

I had dozed off for a nap in the hall of less than a hundred hearths when I was startled awake by my Maester friend. He wanted to know if anyone wanted to go explore the castle with him. Feeling slightly more energized after my short rest, I agreed to go with him. Maybe I could discover some other comically misnomered rooms. No one else seemed keen on joining us so we set off for the third floor with cat in pocket. The third floor seemed dusty and devoid of people. Strangely though. noises and light were emanating from a door down the hall. The sounds didn’t seem violent in any way as we cautiously approached the door. It was already partially cracked open (or as some might say… ajar) so we gently pushed the door the rest of the way open and stepped into the room. There stood Brinda from the Shell fort. Before she could say anything, I cracked a joke so she knew we were not threatening. My humorous riddle did not seem to amuse her. My memory of our last encounter is hazy to say the least. Between my old age and the chaos of combat put me into a daze when we first met Brinda and she told us of her visions. Now she spoke again future visions. Some bad… our group surrounded by enemies. Some good… my name becoming well known across Westeros. Curious about her visions, Thaddeus and I questioned her about them. Wanting to know the certainty of these visions, wanting to know what we should do next. Still speaking mysteriously, Brinda said that she did not see “neither the stag nor the dragon will sit the Iron Throne.” Interesting… maybe the cat will sit the throne?!? Brinda also stated “that we must get inside the tomb.” After some time, I left Brinda with another riddle that seemed to stump her.

Lord Whent charged us with a quest to heal a sick young girl. The Whent’s could not be associated with healing her so that was why he chose us. At my own risk, I decided to enter the sick Sheera’s room. Admittedly my skill in healing is next to nothing, so it was more to provide any assistance the Maester might need. Plus you know what they say… laughter is the best medicine. After a few days, Sheera’s condition improved and our group moved on towards Stony Sept. While traveling, we spot a man laying on the side of the road with his horse near by. From a distance it appears that he might be taking a nap. However, his painful moans as we draw closer makes it apparent that he is badly wounded. Turns on that he is not just any old unfortunate traveler…. he is Robert Baratheon, the leader of the rebellion! What he happened to him? We must get him to a location where Thad can treat him. Surely my name will live on in stories if I’m a part of the group that saved the rebellion (e.g. Skywalker & Solo).

Good enough for me and my Bobby B
Lord better have some monay

Lady Alys has sent us to the Stony Sept to support the townspeople in preparing for the rebellion. 

On our way, we approached a clearly injured man. Initially I urged my companions to keep on riding, but the nosy do-gooders just HAVE to stop, and learn his name is "Robert". Realizing that Robert is Head of House Baratheon, I take the opportunity to make a good impression. "My Lord, it would be a privilege to carry you on my horse and ensure your comfort and safety." I ducked underneath his lumbering weight to support him in standing, and after seeing Dolins fail to effectively build a stretcher for Robert, I complete one successfully. Lord Baratheon hungrily consumes the milk of the poppy the maester gives him, and we carry on our way.

Robert Baratheon, the leader and face of the rebellion, should his cause be successful is on an upward track to status and fortune, and I have my sights set on Lord Baratheon taking me with him. This is my moment to seize!

We arrive at the Stony Sept, and I make sure that I am attentively and VISIBLY tending to every need of Lord Baratheon. A man named Seamus leads us to the empty maester's quarters, and Robert requests more wine, which I promptly hup to!

On our way to the market, Dolins notes my doting, and offers to support my cause to gain the attention of Lord Baratheon. I subtly express my gratitude for his kind words, and enter the General Store, attempting to blend in to the town. I explain to the shopkeep that I am seeking wine for none other than Lord Baratheon! He attempts to charge me 100 silver stags for the cask, but after reminding him that I will be sure that the leader of the rebellion will know of his generosity, he gifted the cask, and I rolled it back to the Maester's Keep with the help of friendly Dolins. 

After a week, Seamus returns with word that the Targaryean army has learned of Robert's location and are on their way to the Stony Sept! Dolins returns on his promise, and suggests that Robert spend the next few days with the handmaid to practice blending in as a servant, to which Lord Baratheon flirtatiously perks up at the prospect of my company. "Robert is loved at the Stony Sept, and if need be, the townspeople will assemble to his defense," I say to the group. We decide to hide Lord Baratheon in the home of townfolk near the brothel, with myself stationed at the door to convince any potential soldiers to keep moving. 

After a week, Teddy signals from the bell tower that the Targaryean army is arriving by land…

Ser Darron's Journal III

These have been trying times.

They've mostly been bad days since the Reach, but these have been the worst. 

My beloved horse has fallen. 

Poor Lollypop. She'd done so much for me and deserved better than this. Chopped down beneath me by those coward mountain men. I'll always remember her as an equal and I'll think of her every time I kill one of them.

The farmer is dead too. 

Carson… Ser… Carson. I never honestly thought he had the mettle for knighthood – seemed a little too greedy at times – but the chivalry he displayed in the pursuit of his family was a thing of lore. It shan't be forgotten.  I shall ask the Bard to write a song of these past days. About me and the farmer.

Worst of all: Jarden is gravely injured. 

And he won't! shut! up!! 
I've spent four days now plodding through this soaking heath back to castle Snownook and four days listening to Jarden's moaning! It almost makes a one wish he had died under his flabby rounsey. It'll be another two days of moaning at least – though Edric assures me three. Who knows what this kind of damage this torment can do to a man's mind.

I do look forward to our return, however. When the castlefolk hear about our decisive victory against this encampment of savages, and my immaculate rescue of the farmer's family, they will surely rejoice! How could there not be a feast in our honor and Carson's memory? We slayed a score of wildmen and dispatched another dozen. This just shows the valor possessed by the men of Snownook. An the favor bestowed upon us by the seven.

Though I am concerned about the coming war, one can spare a day or two for song and wine! Maybe even a third and fourth day for women! Ho ho ho!

Don't piss off the lady with the poisons....
The tale of the bard and maester continues...

The great Lordling Teddy goes off to talk with Lord Whent for a while as we are all in the hall of 35 actual hearths. As I am standing there bored, I think about what I can do for the time they are squirreled away chatting. I turn to my bud Dolins and say, hey, lets go check out the decrepit 3rd floor as Calaila is tending to our lady. He agrees! Huzzah! Something to do!

We trek up and on the 2nd floor of the ghost tower, I notice it is getting colder and more dusty. On the 3rd floor, we start hearing noises from the room at the end of the hall… We creep up and push the door open. And in the room is creepy Brinda! Dolins and his quick whit gives her a riddle that she does not understand. Guliver peeks out of my pocket but then burrows back in, away from the creepy lady. I for some reason feel Guliver may be in danger… So I make sure to secure the button of the pocket… Lest someone try to SELL MY CAT!

Anyways. We chat with Brinda who tells me that in the future she sees me and my friends hiding… From what, she does not say. I have her look at the shield and she says that the night must refer to the long night and the children are the children of the forest. So Tothmere must be correct. Brinda also says that the children are beyond the wall.

Wise Dolins asks her if her visions are certain or if they can be changed. She says they can change but it is hard to do. She also states that neither the stag nor the dragon will gain the throne in the rebellion. She reiterates how we must get inside the tomb.

We leave the castle and head to tend to a sick girl, Sheera. I hear she may have consumption. I ready myself to enter the room alone but brave Dolins comes with me! How nice he is to me. Sheera definitely has consumption… I feel a bit of it coming on as well… I treat her with a fungus I know to help as well as some bark tea to soothe her sore throat. We wait a few days and Sheera keeps improving! I was under the weather for a day but then bounced right back. Guliver sure has improved my spirits and health!

Lady Elyse states we must get going. I then notice Teddy looking longingly at Sheera… HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?? That wench. Ah well. Teddy seems completely uninterested in me. He also keeps throwing dangerous looks at Guliver… Maybe he isn't the man I thought he was. I will have to weigh my affections of this spiteful man…. We ready to head to Stoney Sept, the town is overrun as there are no military to keep order. And we head on the road!

We are traveling for many days when we happen upon a traveler on the ground. We notice he has a warhorse and I can hear him moaning from pain. I hear Calaila behind me whispering that we should just keep going, but that is not a maester's way. I must help those who I can! I dismount and head over to him. It appears that he may have several broken bones and cuts, part of an arrow is in his arm. I ask him his name. He states he is Robert Baratheon…. I have a moment of sleepy forgetfulness and then Teddy reminds me he is the head of our rebellion! How could I have forgotten! We gather him up and move him so I can help treat his wounds.

I've got 99 problems...
.... but a hearth ain't one

Bronn had made it to Harrenhal before we did. He brought the news of Orville's death along with Orville's murderer. Lord Whent had rewarded Bronn with some gold in exchange for Maggie's head on a pike. That's fine by me. Justice was served and Bronn had mentioned in the inn that he needed money. Bronn departed and we were left to settle into the massive castle. Lord Whent was mourning alone and not taking audience with any one quite yet. I too know the loss of a son and shall not pressure him to meet with us if he is not ready. We ate in a grand room presented to us as "The hall of a hundred hearths". Being an eternal skeptic, I only counted 35 hearths. BAH, still impressive, just don't make it out to be something it's not. Oh well, you know how nobles like to over-represent the size of their "castles". We ate a hearty meal and I went off to practice my logic by playing a game of cyvasse against anyone I could find. I happened to bump into House Whent's Maester, Tothmire. He was worried I wanted to play for money but I told him I simply wanted to challenge my whits against a wise mind. While we playing, Tothmire mentioned how Lord Whent was worried about his brother serving in the King's Guard and his fate if a war were to break out. I revealed some of my distrust of the spiritual world to him and to Thad listening in the background. My friend pressed me to reveal more, but I said that is a sad story for another time.

About a month had passed living comfortably as guests in Harronhal and finally Lord Whent called to meet us….